Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Orioles Reinstate Colton Cowser From 60-Day IL, Designate Cooper Hummel For Assignment - MLB Trade Rumors

You are like me, then.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Why do I have an itch in my labia, white gooey and thick discharge which doesn't have a smell but my vagina does sometimes and both me and my partner do not have STDs, what is it?

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s still here.

And the sadness?

Can you explain the difference between a detox center and an addiction treatment center? Are they interchangeable terms?

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

I had run out of hope.

Does beneficial infrared heat pass at all through EMF shields of IR sauna blankets (zero EMF emission)?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Which is the most liked web series in India?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

The sadness was still there.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Why don't I want to talk to my girlfriend when she loves me a lot? I feel bored.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Be who you already are.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Colts will induct Jim Irsay into their Ring of Honor in Week One - NBC Sports

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

I was tired of fighting.

Aryna Sabalenka Releases Statement Amid Backlash Over Coco Gauff Comments - Sports Illustrated

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Oracle Stock Surges for Second Straight Day After Strong Results, Rosy Outlook - Investopedia

I was tired of trying and failing.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.